Thursday, February 11, 2010
A Few Things that Need to be Addressed
Dear Google Analytics,
I would greatly appreciate it if you stopped tracking data generated by us, the creators of this blog. It kinda skews our data and needlessly gets our hopes up, and if you could stop doing that, maybe I can quit tricking myself into thinking I'm popular.
Dear Ghost Who Left That Weird Draft and Never Published it,
I really think you had a story going there, and I would love to read the finished product. I would also love if you stopped moving my shoes around the house when I'm trying to get ready; that's a real dick move, buddy. Contact me through the ouija board, or maybe hit me up on Facebook if you wanna talk.
Dear Audience,
You are less existent than the ghost that's trying to blog for us. At this point, I am convinced you are a myth. If you're just being cheeky bastards and lurking from the shadows, I guess I can't complain. Except I can, I will, and I am.
Dear Jen,
We are all out of bologna, I used the last of it to bologna your car. Seeing as I did it as a means of revenge (see if you ever eat my Squeeze Cheese again), it is you who has to pick up more as a further means of punishment.
Road trip story will go on as scheduled--and I apologize for drawing it out as long as I already have--I just felt those little issues needed to be dealt with first.
-Alex
I would greatly appreciate it if you stopped tracking data generated by us, the creators of this blog. It kinda skews our data and needlessly gets our hopes up, and if you could stop doing that, maybe I can quit tricking myself into thinking I'm popular.
Dear Ghost Who Left That Weird Draft and Never Published it,
I really think you had a story going there, and I would love to read the finished product. I would also love if you stopped moving my shoes around the house when I'm trying to get ready; that's a real dick move, buddy. Contact me through the ouija board, or maybe hit me up on Facebook if you wanna talk.
Dear Audience,
You are less existent than the ghost that's trying to blog for us. At this point, I am convinced you are a myth. If you're just being cheeky bastards and lurking from the shadows, I guess I can't complain. Except I can, I will, and I am.
Dear Jen,
We are all out of bologna, I used the last of it to bologna your car. Seeing as I did it as a means of revenge (see if you ever eat my Squeeze Cheese again), it is you who has to pick up more as a further means of punishment.
Road trip story will go on as scheduled--and I apologize for drawing it out as long as I already have--I just felt those little issues needed to be dealt with first.
-Alex
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