Saturday, February 20, 2010

Oh, The Things You'll Wish to Unread

In our latest endeavor into trying to make ourselves "hip," Jen and I have decided to venture into the forbidden realm: Twitter.

"I really think it best that we not bestow you with such powers of narcissistic, obsessive-compulsive, attention-mongering updating, Alex. Your head can't possibly get any fatter, and I fear if it does, we'll have to find a larger apartment. Seriously, you look like that Air Heads guy."

"Jen, I would appreciate it if you didn't make fun of my medical condition, thank you," I grumbled, tugging on the elaborate system of pulleys we'd erected so that I could scratch the back of my own head. "This is just one medium we can't pass up on. Let us sashay gracefully into this!"

"No Tweeting about what's going on in the bathroom."

"Done."

"No drunk Tweeting."

"Well, I can't make any promises."

"No Tweeting threatening messages to celebrities."

"Oh, come on!"

And so it was settled. From hence forth, we shall Tweet with vigor the likes of which the world can't even begin to fathom. A Tweet so loud that the heavens will hear our cry, and unto us they will say, "SHUT THE HELL UP, WE'RE TRYING TO SLEEP". A Tweet so mighty, the very foundation of the Casbah will not only be rocked, but it will shatter. We are giving it our all.

-Alex, Tweeting about the mundane since 2/20/2010

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